Charlotte

Don't nag me about posting, I've had nothing to talk about. Until now.

As of this past Monday, the 13th of February, Jay and I have had a wonderful new addition to our little family. A beautiful little girl of 2 years and four months. Charlotte is our new dog. We rescued her at the humane society. Jay agreed that as my valentine's gift we could use my tax return for the $300 dollar down payment our apartment building requires for pets. We went to the human society several times and after the first visit we had a few dogs in mind, one in particular named Lilly.

Each time we went back to visit and make sure Lilly was still available (they don't hold dogs after all) we would visit and play with a few of the others. We wanted to have at least one backup in case we couldn't get Lilly when the money came in. Each time I was always drawn back to Charlotte.

On Monday, when the money arrived, Jay and I went right there, as soon as they opened. Lilly was away for her spaying but the woman put our names on her stuff so that we could take her when she came back. She then asked us if we'd like to go look at other dogs while we were there. Having nothing to do, we said yes. Once more we walked the two long rows of kennels, looking at all the beautiful creatures people willing gave up. Once more I was pulled back to Charlotte's kennel. She recognized us, got up from her bed and excitedly ran to the door.

Right then and there I started to cry. Openly weeping. I had had doubt about Lilly for a few weeks. I loved her a lot I wanted her but my heart wanted Charlotte more. Every since the first time we got to play and visit with her I wanted Charlotte. Jay pulled me close and asked me what was wrong. I told him. He said we could get Charlotte if I wanted, but I said he'd really wanted Lilly. Jay insisted that he liked Charlotte too and that the dog was supposed to be my gift, and I could have whatever dog I wanted, the one that would make me the happiest. I said I wanted Charlotte and that I needed her, and felt she needed me.

The entire time we'd been looking and waiting, over the weeks I kept bringing up the belief that when you see the dog for you, you just know. And I did know. Charlotte was it. We went back up front and told the lady we changed our mind. She was very happy to hear this because one of the vet students that spay and neuter the dogs for free had said she wanted Lilly too so now both dogs would get a home.

We'd already been told about Charlotte's past before Monday. She had been returned to the Humane Society twice, the poor baby girl! They didn't have info for the reason the first time, but the last time she was brought back, she was only there for 3 days, and they said she was aggressive towards women. Apparently whenever she was alone with the guy's wife she would just growl at her... woman either lied for Charlotte just knew she was a fucking bitch because this dog has NO aggression in her at all. She actually prefers my company over Jay's despite being very attached to him already too. On top of that, she doesn't make any noise. An occasional groan in her sleep or a growl at our friend's puppy when the thing climbs on her. She doesn't bark and she doesn't growl not even when we're playing.

Since she was brought back twice Charlotte was apart of their Lonely Hearts club. her adoption fee was reduced $25, in hopes someone would take her and love her. Poor girl's heart had been broken a few times already, it was time for her to have a good home where she is safe and I knew Jay and I could give that to her.

Since she'd already been spayed and had a microchip, we were allowed to bring our girl home right then. Thinking about how we got her brings a tear to my eye. She's the sweetest dog I've ever met aside from my aunt's border collie, Maggie. Charlotte lets you do anything you want to her, she just puts up with it. She is a German Shepard mix... we think her other half may be border collie but we have no proof either way. She's black and brown with floppy ears that are like velvet. She knows how to entertain herself and play with her own toys. Little by little she's relaxing and settling in with us and coming our of her shell. She's very shy at first but as long as she is with Jay or I she's willing to go up to other people and be social and try to ask for love from them as well as give it in return.

She's so smart, and learns quickly. She knows her manners but needs a little structure to be sure she'll obey. She's not a beggar at all doesn't care about human food, and walks wonderfully on a leash. She is great with children and other dogs, as long as puppies don't climb all over her. And she loves car rides...she's not a fan of an open window but she hops right in and lays down and just watches the world as we drive by, shes so good. She doesn't even get her nose into food or the trash <3 Charlotte has a great deal of love to give and a great deal of heartbreak that needs to be mended. Jay and I are good at both, and Charlotte has been a wonderful change in our lives. A huge change for both of us but wonderful none the less. She saved us as much as we saved her, and I love her all the more for it. I've only had her in my life for 6 days and already I don't know what I'd do with out her.

There's Always One

And there it is. In a manner of about 60 seconds I went from feeling moderately secure in my new home and apartment building to being more than just a little paranoid now.

Everybody has at least one. That odd neighbor who's just a little too friendly, and says odd things at first meeting that makes them seem instantly sketchy. Mine, I met a few minuets ago.

On our side of the apartment building, there are only 6 apartments, two on each of the three floors. On the lowest one the laundry room entrance sits between the two apartment doors. Up until now there have only been 3 residents on our side, both apartments on our floor, and the people above us. Now someone has moved into one of the units on the first floor.

I'm sure he's a very nice guy, and I am probably going to hell for making an assumption about somebody I know absolutely nothing about, and I'm not really assuming anything, but I have instantly been put on my guard. He fits that stereotypical creeper. A larger, balding man in his 40's, glasses and an accent that sounds like it's mixed and he could be from the Russian area of the world and from Europe all at once. He was chatty and pleasant but said things and asked questions that's seemed to be just a little too nosy for a simple passing in the laundry greeting chat. And it was those questions, as well as how he presented himself that put me immediately on my guard.

The stereotype description I could care less about, as I know very very well, nobody can judge a book y it's cover. But when he asked if I lived alone (he saw me with a only an hour before), or if I had children, when we weren't even getting that chatty int he first place it just made me uncomfortable. I instantly went from feeling perfectly ok with leaving my apt door unlocked when I'm home alone (like I can do back home in Minnesota) to locking it as soon as I got back into the apartment where Jay was waiting for me. And you can ask him, I would rather leave it unlocked out of habits from growing up, yanno? It takes a lot to make me THAT uncomfortable.

I really really hope he was just trying to get to know his neighbors, and that I really have nothing to worry about but for an overly friendly down stair's neighbor. I am going to keep an open mind here, without ignoring my own safety. I will still stay on my guard more than normal for a while... even if I wanted to, I couldn't stop myself from doing that I don't think.

I know that's not a byproduct of my upbringing in a bad location. When I was little I lived in a very safe place where my dad could call for me out the back door and from a block and a half away he could hear me call back that I was coming, very Leave it to Beaver esque. We only locked our doors at night back then...except for Christmas Eve. We left the back door unlocked for Santa. There aren't very many places like that now days. When I eventually have kids, I really do want to be able to move to a place much like the location I grew up in. It's a far hope with how our society is but I can still, in fact, hope.

I'm getting off topic here though. The being on my guard, I think, is still part of my upbringing. My daddy, and my momma, my grandfather's and grandmothers taught me, and all of us in my family... the boys as much as the women...we can't be too careful. We are to never think or say "Oh it can't happen to me." Because the chances are it can and will. It's something that lies dormant in me, waiting to spring to the forefront to help protect me. It's always there in my subconscious, I'm always looking around myself when I'm alone in public. In my purse I keep a knife that once belonged to my grandfather, still as sharp now as the day my Daddy passed it on to me. When I leave work alone at night, my keys remain firmly between my fingers as makeshift self defense weapons, as told to me by my father.

I don't want to assume anybody is a creeper or worse, but at the same time, you really can't be too safe. There are so many untrustworthy people in this world, and its really a shame that I have to feel as though I need that knife in my purse or that one extra glance around the parking lot. I should be able to feel safe in my own apartment building when we have a locked and key code controlled front and back door in the general access. *sighs*

Those days are gone I suppose, but I hope that's only for now. I hope that one day, things will get better, even if it's just better to the degree it was when I was a kid. I guess there isn't much more to say on this subject. I'm going to continue watching my back and locking my door, until I can get to know our new neighbor better. I sincerely hope my first impression was just off due to an over eagerness to get to know a new neighbor. :)

Silly Things

I am bored, so here are some cute, funny, and generally amusing images I stole from my sister and other random places on the net :) Apologies for bad sizing it wouldn't let me re-size it all properly, but bah, whatever. I hope these still make you smile.

Can't Sleep

A lots been going on lately. I haven't had a moments rest between the move, going back home for my birthday, and work. I've been going non-stop. This past Friday was my literal first day off from doing anything at all, and I spent it and Saturday just trying to relax as well as work some more of our moving boxes and get our new home unpacked. Friday I slept so amazingly well, but last night and tonight, I can't sleep well at all. I'm tired and exhausted, and I just want to sleep! I only want rest, why on Earth is that so difficult? I'm in tears over this, I'm so so so tired, so sleepy why can't I just have this one small thing?

At least Jay is sleeping well. People seem to think that he doesn't do anything because he's out of work right now but really, he does a lot. For example, we're at only one vehicle, right now, mine. And I'm nice enough to share it with him and his mother. Poor Jay. In any one day he could make up to 8 back and forth trips just bringing me and his mom to work, and she works 3 jobs, rarely does she not work 2 in one day. If Jay get really lucky it's only 5 back and forth trips in a day and that's only if she and I both start or end or respective jobs at the mall at the same time.

On top of all of that running around, he still makes trips to the grocery store for us, he's putting in applications for jobs, and he's also car hunting as well! Many people don't realize it, but job hunting is in fact a full time job in and of itself. Especially in this economy. I know, I've been there, I was out of work for over a year and believe me, it sucks. It took months and months of constant applications to get even a single interview let alone an actual job. And the longer you're out of work, the harder it is to FIND work. Add to that the constant rejection, or "well call you back and let you know either way" bullshit when you never get a call back, etc. It all adds up and it just makes you want to give up. It all takes a huge and massive toll on you mentally and emotionally. It really hits your self confidence hard, which in turn can make it even harder to get up and get out job hunting.

I'm really proud of Jay though! He's not letting all this get to him. Sometimes it does, but that's how it is with everyone. Jay's hitting the apps really hard. He WANTS to work and he'll take about any job he can find! He's trying so hard and doing so much in between. I'm so proud of him! I'm really glad at least he's asleep right now and sleeping well. He needs it too. So at least one of us is well rested.

On another note, my big sister is having a baby. She's due in December. I'm really excited, I can't wait to go home for the birth. We were talking tonight, about how the both of us really think that the baby will be born early. It's a girl by the way. I am not the god mother, one of my best friends, April, is. And I'm really excited about it. So is Ape. She's really excited to be an Aunt/Godmother. And I know she's going to take as good care of this little girl and spoil her as rotten as I spoil Aurorah and Leo. April is going to be a really great god mother!

I'm really honored that Riss wants me to be there to cut the cord. She's not with the dad.. he's a douche, I won't get into too much details but lets leave it at they were really good friends from high school. They had a one nighter just for fun, he lied about the condom, and then jackassed his way into the dickwad hall of fame. Lets just say he ate a bowl of stupid every morning for breakfast.

As it is, my mom has been the one that's been there for Riss the entire time, been going to all the appointments, all the birthing classes, everything. I would have thought that would be reason enough to ask our mom to do it. But when I...in complete awe by the way...why me, she simply replied with "Who else would I ask to do it?"

Honored, that's all I can say about that. I am going to do every possible thing in my power to be there for my sister and that baby girl.

So yeah, I guess that's about it. I feel hungry all of the sudden. I'm just sitting here, doing nothing, watching the same Family Guy epps on Adult Swim that I watched earlier tonight, and wishing I could sleep. Not even my Valerian is working tonight...damn it.

Well good night everyone. I love you all, see you on the flip side!

New Apartment

Jay and I are so exhausted. We're sleeping out of our skulls. I personally was on the go nonstop from for 10 hours with no rest till about half an hour ago. That's when I promptly collapsed and let my sleepiness overtake me. One of the things we did today was move a bunch of stuff into the apartment. I also took video of it for you all to get a great walk-through for it! That's really the only reason for this post, so here is the video, enjoy it and I'll write later!

Ugh,

I want to write but I don't really know what to write about. I'm so bored, I really should go through my cloths to start packing..I should fold out two full baskets of laundry too but I'll do that a little later. I hate doing laundry. Okay I take that back, i'm weird, I don't mind doing laundry or even folding it, but for some reason I loath putting it away. I don't know why either haha, but I just hate putting the laundry away. Oh well I guess.

In my post yesterday I mentioned a few stories from work. So I got one for ya now. At my store almost everyone is a member of the management team. We have two girls who are regular associates. One is a new seasonal girl. She's really sweet, and nice I like her. She's only 16. The other is a girl who is 19 and has been with the company on and off for two years. I'll call her Maria. She's a really nice girl, and we chat about a lot of things. But she likes to try and see what she can get away with with the girls in management. She doesn't try to pull shit with our store manager, but there is another third key who will order her around so she doesn't do much with her. The thing with Maria is that you need to just be polite. If you ask nicely or say "for me" make it sound like a favor she'll jump right one it.

So yesterday, our boss was on her break. I was manager on duty. I was busy with some paperwork behind the counter. The other 3rd key that was there was busy ringing up customers. Maria was standing near her, doing nothing. See her greet a customer in a tie dye shirt that had just come in and come near us, but it was a half assed greeting. A few moments later I look up and the store is suddenly PACKED and Maria is still doing nothing. No one had been greeted, or anything and i was still busy. I looked over to her and nicely said, "Maria, why don't you go and pass out baskets and greet customers."

The girl blatantly ignored me. She stood there, looked right at me, then slowly and casually moved only her head, looking around the store. She then grabbed a single basket, and slowly walked tot he front of the store and then back again, not speaking to anyone or even offering a basket. She came back to where we'd been standing and I glance up and see the woman in the tie dye shirt with her hands full now. I was pretty annoyed with her at this point because Maria KNOWS better than to half ass it like that. So I told her to go give that lady a basket. And she goes "I already talked to her." That is a BULLSHIT excuse. This pissed me off to no end, so I pulled rank on her, which I've never had to do before. And I was like "Re-approach her! Her hands are now full, give. Her. A. Basket."

She just made me so angry. Re-approaching our customers is pushed really hard in our training and we JUST finished the yearly customer service training. She Knows Better! It pissed me off so bad and made me just so, ARGH! The store was suddenly flooded with customers. I was busy with something I'd been asked to get done, the other manager was busy, Maria knows so much better than that!

All of this took place in about two minuets, at most. She walked over to the lady handed her a basket and walked back just as I finished my paperwork. I told her one more time to go hand out baskets, firmly this time. Then I picked up a handful of baskets, passed EVERY SINGLE ONE OUT and greeted all of my customers before going back for more baskets. It took me all of a minuet to get every customer a basket and greet them properly and see if I could help them with anything.

There is a reason this girl was only hired as an associate and not a manager. Its the first time she's ever ignored me, or anything like that. And I know that she knows procedure better than that too. It made me so mad. y the time the crowd thinned out again my boss returned. I know others have had problems with this girl so I pulled my boss aside and told her what I happened. She was not happy. She punished Maria by putting her in the back room to start on the markdowns.

I enjoy her company at work, she's a nice girl but if she thinks that I won't pull rank on her when I will. She is known to have no motivation of her own unless given a specific task. I've never had a problem with her till now and this was a case of something she specifically knows, and shouldn't have to be asked to do in the first place. Meh.

Anyway that's my venting. I'm off not, ttyl.

eh, meh

I am so exhausted and tired and sleepy. I don't really have a lot to talk about as of late. We have FINALLY found a new place to move into and we also found a car for Jay. We're both so happy and super excited.

On top of moving and the new car, I get to go home soon for my birthday. I miss everyone SO SO much! I can't wait to see my family again! We'll be home the 28th-1st. I get to party with everyone out on the 29th, earlier that say is my sister's baby shower. On the 30th its just gonna be a chill day, possibly we'll so see a movie. Well we ARE going, to see Puss in Booths that day. I am SO excited to see it! MUWHAHAHAHA! On Halloween, (my birthday) we're going up to the cemetery to visit my grandfather. I was born on his birthday, I miss him so much. My Gamma and Jay and April are going with. I hope my mom and my sister still want to go up there with us too. It would eb nice to have everyone there. We'll have a family dinner that night and run around like lunatics in costumes too.

Jay and I have to come back on November first. It'll be way too short a time to be home. I'm going to be miserable on the way back to Missouri. It won't be long enough to be home. I have no guarantee that Nick and Cass and the kids will for sure be able to come down for thanks giving..and if they can't...I just... I honestly don't know what I'll do. I care more about Halloween and Thanksgiving than any other holiday. I can't go home, and if I can't be with at least a small part of my family I think I'll actually be one of those people who falls into the holiday depression, which sucks, because I'm usually so chipper I love the holiday season. Decorations and the cheer, ect it's so great! I really hope my family can come down for it. Even if we have to celebrate a week early or a week late.

At the early start of Dec. I should (not 100% sure yet but SHOULD) be able to go home for the birth of my new niece! I'm so excited for that! Rory is my little love, but Rissa's baby shall be my Sanggol! That's Filipino for baby, I like the word and how it sounds and it will be my term of endearment for Rissa's baby.

My tired mind if just rambling now. My hours have gone up at work for gossipy reasons that I won't repeat here, but I'm happy about that. More hours means more money, and maybe I won't have to find a second job.

Anyway I have nothing more today A few work stories but I don't feel good, and and so sleepy so those will be posted some other time. Night all, love you all, ttyl!