And there it is. In a manner of about 60 seconds I went from feeling moderately secure in my new home and apartment building to being more than just a little paranoid now.
Everybody has at least one. That odd neighbor who's just a little too friendly, and says odd things at first meeting that makes them seem instantly sketchy. Mine, I met a few minuets ago.
On our side of the apartment building, there are only 6 apartments, two on each of the three floors. On the lowest one the laundry room entrance sits between the two apartment doors. Up until now there have only been 3 residents on our side, both apartments on our floor, and the people above us. Now someone has moved into one of the units on the first floor.
I'm sure he's a very nice guy, and I am probably going to hell for making an assumption about somebody I know absolutely nothing about, and I'm not really assuming anything, but I have instantly been put on my guard. He fits that stereotypical creeper. A larger, balding man in his 40's, glasses and an accent that sounds like it's mixed and he could be from the Russian area of the world and from Europe all at once. He was chatty and pleasant but said things and asked questions that's seemed to be just a little too nosy for a simple passing in the laundry greeting chat. And it was those questions, as well as how he presented himself that put me immediately on my guard.
The stereotype description I could care less about, as I know very very well, nobody can judge a book y it's cover. But when he asked if I lived alone (he saw me with a only an hour before), or if I had children, when we weren't even getting that chatty int he first place it just made me uncomfortable. I instantly went from feeling perfectly ok with leaving my apt door unlocked when I'm home alone (like I can do back home in Minnesota) to locking it as soon as I got back into the apartment where Jay was waiting for me. And you can ask him, I would rather leave it unlocked out of habits from growing up, yanno? It takes a lot to make me THAT uncomfortable.
I really really hope he was just trying to get to know his neighbors, and that I really have nothing to worry about but for an overly friendly down stair's neighbor. I am going to keep an open mind here, without ignoring my own safety. I will still stay on my guard more than normal for a while... even if I wanted to, I couldn't stop myself from doing that I don't think.
I know that's not a byproduct of my upbringing in a bad location. When I was little I lived in a very safe place where my dad could call for me out the back door and from a block and a half away he could hear me call back that I was coming, very Leave it to Beaver esque. We only locked our doors at night back then...except for Christmas Eve. We left the back door unlocked for Santa. There aren't very many places like that now days. When I eventually have kids, I really do want to be able to move to a place much like the location I grew up in. It's a far hope with how our society is but I can still, in fact, hope.
I'm getting off topic here though. The being on my guard, I think, is still part of my upbringing. My daddy, and my momma, my grandfather's and grandmothers taught me, and all of us in my family... the boys as much as the women...we can't be too careful. We are to never think or say "Oh it can't happen to me." Because the chances are it can and will. It's something that lies dormant in me, waiting to spring to the forefront to help protect me. It's always there in my subconscious, I'm always looking around myself when I'm alone in public. In my purse I keep a knife that once belonged to my grandfather, still as sharp now as the day my Daddy passed it on to me. When I leave work alone at night, my keys remain firmly between my fingers as makeshift self defense weapons, as told to me by my father.
I don't want to assume anybody is a creeper or worse, but at the same time, you really can't be too safe. There are so many untrustworthy people in this world, and its really a shame that I have to feel as though I need that knife in my purse or that one extra glance around the parking lot. I should be able to feel safe in my own apartment building when we have a locked and key code controlled front and back door in the general access. *sighs*
Those days are gone I suppose, but I hope that's only for now. I hope that one day, things will get better, even if it's just better to the degree it was when I was a kid. I guess there isn't much more to say on this subject. I'm going to continue watching my back and locking my door, until I can get to know our new neighbor better. I sincerely hope my first impression was just off due to an over eagerness to get to know a new neighbor. :)
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