Can't Sleep

A lots been going on lately. I haven't had a moments rest between the move, going back home for my birthday, and work. I've been going non-stop. This past Friday was my literal first day off from doing anything at all, and I spent it and Saturday just trying to relax as well as work some more of our moving boxes and get our new home unpacked. Friday I slept so amazingly well, but last night and tonight, I can't sleep well at all. I'm tired and exhausted, and I just want to sleep! I only want rest, why on Earth is that so difficult? I'm in tears over this, I'm so so so tired, so sleepy why can't I just have this one small thing?

At least Jay is sleeping well. People seem to think that he doesn't do anything because he's out of work right now but really, he does a lot. For example, we're at only one vehicle, right now, mine. And I'm nice enough to share it with him and his mother. Poor Jay. In any one day he could make up to 8 back and forth trips just bringing me and his mom to work, and she works 3 jobs, rarely does she not work 2 in one day. If Jay get really lucky it's only 5 back and forth trips in a day and that's only if she and I both start or end or respective jobs at the mall at the same time.

On top of all of that running around, he still makes trips to the grocery store for us, he's putting in applications for jobs, and he's also car hunting as well! Many people don't realize it, but job hunting is in fact a full time job in and of itself. Especially in this economy. I know, I've been there, I was out of work for over a year and believe me, it sucks. It took months and months of constant applications to get even a single interview let alone an actual job. And the longer you're out of work, the harder it is to FIND work. Add to that the constant rejection, or "well call you back and let you know either way" bullshit when you never get a call back, etc. It all adds up and it just makes you want to give up. It all takes a huge and massive toll on you mentally and emotionally. It really hits your self confidence hard, which in turn can make it even harder to get up and get out job hunting.

I'm really proud of Jay though! He's not letting all this get to him. Sometimes it does, but that's how it is with everyone. Jay's hitting the apps really hard. He WANTS to work and he'll take about any job he can find! He's trying so hard and doing so much in between. I'm so proud of him! I'm really glad at least he's asleep right now and sleeping well. He needs it too. So at least one of us is well rested.

On another note, my big sister is having a baby. She's due in December. I'm really excited, I can't wait to go home for the birth. We were talking tonight, about how the both of us really think that the baby will be born early. It's a girl by the way. I am not the god mother, one of my best friends, April, is. And I'm really excited about it. So is Ape. She's really excited to be an Aunt/Godmother. And I know she's going to take as good care of this little girl and spoil her as rotten as I spoil Aurorah and Leo. April is going to be a really great god mother!

I'm really honored that Riss wants me to be there to cut the cord. She's not with the dad.. he's a douche, I won't get into too much details but lets leave it at they were really good friends from high school. They had a one nighter just for fun, he lied about the condom, and then jackassed his way into the dickwad hall of fame. Lets just say he ate a bowl of stupid every morning for breakfast.

As it is, my mom has been the one that's been there for Riss the entire time, been going to all the appointments, all the birthing classes, everything. I would have thought that would be reason enough to ask our mom to do it. But when I...in complete awe by the way...why me, she simply replied with "Who else would I ask to do it?"

Honored, that's all I can say about that. I am going to do every possible thing in my power to be there for my sister and that baby girl.

So yeah, I guess that's about it. I feel hungry all of the sudden. I'm just sitting here, doing nothing, watching the same Family Guy epps on Adult Swim that I watched earlier tonight, and wishing I could sleep. Not even my Valerian is working tonight...damn it.

Well good night everyone. I love you all, see you on the flip side!

New Apartment

Jay and I are so exhausted. We're sleeping out of our skulls. I personally was on the go nonstop from for 10 hours with no rest till about half an hour ago. That's when I promptly collapsed and let my sleepiness overtake me. One of the things we did today was move a bunch of stuff into the apartment. I also took video of it for you all to get a great walk-through for it! That's really the only reason for this post, so here is the video, enjoy it and I'll write later!

Ugh,

I want to write but I don't really know what to write about. I'm so bored, I really should go through my cloths to start packing..I should fold out two full baskets of laundry too but I'll do that a little later. I hate doing laundry. Okay I take that back, i'm weird, I don't mind doing laundry or even folding it, but for some reason I loath putting it away. I don't know why either haha, but I just hate putting the laundry away. Oh well I guess.

In my post yesterday I mentioned a few stories from work. So I got one for ya now. At my store almost everyone is a member of the management team. We have two girls who are regular associates. One is a new seasonal girl. She's really sweet, and nice I like her. She's only 16. The other is a girl who is 19 and has been with the company on and off for two years. I'll call her Maria. She's a really nice girl, and we chat about a lot of things. But she likes to try and see what she can get away with with the girls in management. She doesn't try to pull shit with our store manager, but there is another third key who will order her around so she doesn't do much with her. The thing with Maria is that you need to just be polite. If you ask nicely or say "for me" make it sound like a favor she'll jump right one it.

So yesterday, our boss was on her break. I was manager on duty. I was busy with some paperwork behind the counter. The other 3rd key that was there was busy ringing up customers. Maria was standing near her, doing nothing. See her greet a customer in a tie dye shirt that had just come in and come near us, but it was a half assed greeting. A few moments later I look up and the store is suddenly PACKED and Maria is still doing nothing. No one had been greeted, or anything and i was still busy. I looked over to her and nicely said, "Maria, why don't you go and pass out baskets and greet customers."

The girl blatantly ignored me. She stood there, looked right at me, then slowly and casually moved only her head, looking around the store. She then grabbed a single basket, and slowly walked tot he front of the store and then back again, not speaking to anyone or even offering a basket. She came back to where we'd been standing and I glance up and see the woman in the tie dye shirt with her hands full now. I was pretty annoyed with her at this point because Maria KNOWS better than to half ass it like that. So I told her to go give that lady a basket. And she goes "I already talked to her." That is a BULLSHIT excuse. This pissed me off to no end, so I pulled rank on her, which I've never had to do before. And I was like "Re-approach her! Her hands are now full, give. Her. A. Basket."

She just made me so angry. Re-approaching our customers is pushed really hard in our training and we JUST finished the yearly customer service training. She Knows Better! It pissed me off so bad and made me just so, ARGH! The store was suddenly flooded with customers. I was busy with something I'd been asked to get done, the other manager was busy, Maria knows so much better than that!

All of this took place in about two minuets, at most. She walked over to the lady handed her a basket and walked back just as I finished my paperwork. I told her one more time to go hand out baskets, firmly this time. Then I picked up a handful of baskets, passed EVERY SINGLE ONE OUT and greeted all of my customers before going back for more baskets. It took me all of a minuet to get every customer a basket and greet them properly and see if I could help them with anything.

There is a reason this girl was only hired as an associate and not a manager. Its the first time she's ever ignored me, or anything like that. And I know that she knows procedure better than that too. It made me so mad. y the time the crowd thinned out again my boss returned. I know others have had problems with this girl so I pulled my boss aside and told her what I happened. She was not happy. She punished Maria by putting her in the back room to start on the markdowns.

I enjoy her company at work, she's a nice girl but if she thinks that I won't pull rank on her when I will. She is known to have no motivation of her own unless given a specific task. I've never had a problem with her till now and this was a case of something she specifically knows, and shouldn't have to be asked to do in the first place. Meh.

Anyway that's my venting. I'm off not, ttyl.

eh, meh

I am so exhausted and tired and sleepy. I don't really have a lot to talk about as of late. We have FINALLY found a new place to move into and we also found a car for Jay. We're both so happy and super excited.

On top of moving and the new car, I get to go home soon for my birthday. I miss everyone SO SO much! I can't wait to see my family again! We'll be home the 28th-1st. I get to party with everyone out on the 29th, earlier that say is my sister's baby shower. On the 30th its just gonna be a chill day, possibly we'll so see a movie. Well we ARE going, to see Puss in Booths that day. I am SO excited to see it! MUWHAHAHAHA! On Halloween, (my birthday) we're going up to the cemetery to visit my grandfather. I was born on his birthday, I miss him so much. My Gamma and Jay and April are going with. I hope my mom and my sister still want to go up there with us too. It would eb nice to have everyone there. We'll have a family dinner that night and run around like lunatics in costumes too.

Jay and I have to come back on November first. It'll be way too short a time to be home. I'm going to be miserable on the way back to Missouri. It won't be long enough to be home. I have no guarantee that Nick and Cass and the kids will for sure be able to come down for thanks giving..and if they can't...I just... I honestly don't know what I'll do. I care more about Halloween and Thanksgiving than any other holiday. I can't go home, and if I can't be with at least a small part of my family I think I'll actually be one of those people who falls into the holiday depression, which sucks, because I'm usually so chipper I love the holiday season. Decorations and the cheer, ect it's so great! I really hope my family can come down for it. Even if we have to celebrate a week early or a week late.

At the early start of Dec. I should (not 100% sure yet but SHOULD) be able to go home for the birth of my new niece! I'm so excited for that! Rory is my little love, but Rissa's baby shall be my Sanggol! That's Filipino for baby, I like the word and how it sounds and it will be my term of endearment for Rissa's baby.

My tired mind if just rambling now. My hours have gone up at work for gossipy reasons that I won't repeat here, but I'm happy about that. More hours means more money, and maybe I won't have to find a second job.

Anyway I have nothing more today A few work stories but I don't feel good, and and so sleepy so those will be posted some other time. Night all, love you all, ttyl!

My Niece Bought My Boyfriend From My Mom!

So I am only telling this story because I laughed my ass off when I thought of the title.

When Jay and I had gone home to visit we were all sitting in the living room. My two year old niece Rory found some change on one of the table or the floor or something. A couple of quarters, and what not. All evening my mom had been trying to get it from her "You want your cuppy? Okay but you gotta pay Gramma for that." or "you gotta give me your monies if you want down." Things like that. Each time she'd shake her head and walk away or say "no" and walk off. She would not give up her monies.

So a little later Jay was in the dining room, and she just loves Jay. She went up behind him and hugged the back of his legs "My Jay." and my mom held out her hand again and once more told Rory "You have to pay for him."

Immediately Rory held out her hand walked over to my mom and put the money in her hand before going back over to Jay and grabbing his leg again.

I laughed so hard I had tears. It is one of my favorite stories.

That's it for today's Elixir!

Love you all!!!

Over A Month

Been a while since I've posted. Since my visit to the ER last month, Jay and I have gone back home to Minnesota. We helped my parents move into their new house and set up plans to move home in October. But that is not going to happen now, as a few complications down here in Missouri have surfaced. So we are putting off the move till things down here are taken care of.

We found out that my sister is having a baby girl. I'm very excited for this. I've already bought the diaper bag, and I was to fill it with some fun things clothes and a few other things she requested on her registry. The baby shower takes place on October 29th. I have already requested time off so we can go back home for my birthday which is the 31st, so I'll be home for the baby shower hopefully. The downside is that the time I asked off is the start of a black out period at work, and there is no guarantee that I will get it. Especially since two others also asked for that weekend off, even though I did put in my request first.

In other news, we are currently looking for a new apartment. We received a letter from the landlord a few days ago. He's giving everyone in his rentals until Dec. 1st to find a new place because he's tearing down all the buildings, to pave over and expand out his car lot next door. WHY he is trying to do this int he middle of winter is beyond me, he should at least wait till spring when the ground softens.

We found a place, it would be 480 a month for 2 bedrooms, spacious, all we have to pay are gas and electric and renters insurance which we can get for 20 a month. This really is do able, but Jay's mom doesn't think she can afford it, I don't think she realizes that I'll be sharing in the responsibility of bills. Also even though this is an incredibly nice apartment complex, she has reservations about the place because "a lot of black people live there."

Still I'm setting up a walk through for Friday. The sooner we can find a place the better.

Other than that, things are going well for us. This was just a quick catch up post, I'll post again soon!

The Dangers of Rubbing Alcohol

Oh what a night Jay and I had last night. But before I can get to that, I need to start this story from earlier in the day.

I woke up just fine yesterday nothing wrong with me. At around 11 - 11:30 I was getting ready for work. My left shoulder started to hurt. Felt a little bit like a pinched nerve. I favored it a little bit, and continued getting ready. As my day went on, with no heavy lifting or anything strenuous, my arm proceeded to get worse. I went home at 4, took one of Jay's Vicodin, he'd been given some 2 weeks ago to deal with the bad infection from his cavity, and rested till 5:30. Then I had to go back to work for a store meeting at 6. I told Jay if my arm got worse we'd have to go in and have it looked it. I won't get into the long details of my pain, but lets just say up until that hour, I was able to hold my arms in at least one comfortable position, with no pain at all. But by the time we were done at 7, I was close to tears, and in a great deal of pain no matter what I did. I was shivering from the pain it was so bad. Jay had picked me up, he'd drove since I'd taken a pain killer, and as soon as I got into the car I told him I needed to go into the ER. He took me straight there. On our way in I called mom and let her know what was going on, and then Cassie.

After we got there and I registered, we didn't have to wait long before I was called in. The triage *sp* nurse was a bitch because I didn't happen to know the fucking name of my birth control pills *eyeroll*. Then she was gonna take us to room 5 but as we were just entering one of the guys back there said he had an emergency rolling into that room from the ambulance, so we were just shifted over into the room next to that, just when the guy was being brought in.

As we sat and waited to be seen, we could hear the guy in the next room talking. Clearly drunk, very harsh coarse voice, he was a bit of an older guy, probably in his 60's. He was arguing with the nurses and stuff, he didn't want something or other. Then a little later the nurse came back into his room. I guess he'd been complain that he couldn't breath. She argued with him, and it turned out he "couldn't breathe" because of the reason he was in there. She said if he REALLY couldn't breathe, that she'd sedate him and give him a breathing apparatus. He said that he could breath but it FELT like he couldn't and she told him "Then do not claim you can't breathe. we take that very seriously here." So at some point the guy's daughter showed up, and she is on the side with the Dr.'s and nurses and stuff, arguing with him as well. Then another guy finally came in and started asking questions. We kept hearing the old guy say "I! DIDN'T! MEAN! TO!"

It turns out he was so fucking drunk, he wasn't paying attention to what he was drinking and wound up drinking part of a bottle of rubbing alcohol! He was talking about his throat hurting and he couldn't breath and the nurses kept telling him they can't give him something to drink right now but if he stopped talking his saliva would formulate and go down his throat and help to open his airways, but of course, being drunk he wouldn't shut up for anything.

All of this took place over roughly 4 hours while Jay and I were waiting between visits to our room. So in the meanwhile, I was visited, asked questions, and had the RN or whoever move my arm around, in a few painful locations. Then the nurse came in and he put an IV into my forearm, and gave me morphine. My stomach was empty so that made me feel even more hungry. Right as he was finishing up the two people came to take me and get x-rays. That was okayish, no pain except for one way I had to move my arm that brought tears to my eyes.

An HOUR after my x rays, the Dr. himself finally came in and saw me. He said my X-rays said I was just fine, and from how I'd reacted when my arm had been examined, what I had is something called Nerve Entrapment.

According to Right Health . com... "Nerve entrapment syndromes pertain to medical conditions wherein the nerves become entrapped or restricted in certain areas of the extremities. To decompress the nerves, surgery can be performed on the affected area. Neurosurgeons, orthopedic doctors and plastic surgeons are the medical professional that performs such surgeries. The syndromes manifests with pain of the nerves or with loss of function in the nerves. Nerve Entrapment Syndromes occur when nerves sustain chronic injury usually from stressful or repeated trauma."


I would have to see the Orthopedic doctor, we had the choice of waiting that night to see him or I could call today and make an appointment. We would have waited, but there were a couple of case a head of me, including someone with a dislocated hip or slipped hip or SOMETHING like that. And there was something else a head of us too so they had no clue how much longer we'd be waiting. We'd been there just over 3 hours already. So we decided to go with the sling and just call the ortho today. He was going to prescribe me Vicodin, a sling and 3 days from work.


It took just over an hour to get all of that. During that time we heard a man being wheeled in down the hall several rooms away. He was just screaming at the top of his lungs.Screaming stuff like, "AAAHHHHH OH DEAR GOD HELP ME!" he was in A LOT of pain. He was screaming so loud and so hard he sounded like the background screams of horror that you hear in the movies at one of those asylums that torture the "patients" sort of thing. It was REALLY bad, really cringe worthy. I felt bad for the guy. They either put him on a pain killer, or they full of sedated him cuz he just randomly stopped screaming. The nurse came in just after eleven, he took the IV opening out of my arm (I wasn't on a drip or anything just the hardware was still in me from getting the morphine) and put the sling on me, telling me how it should look and feel when wearing it.


We left and I was SO hungry and SO tired, that we went right to McDonald's. I had a number 9 crispy chicken meal AND an additional McChicken sandwich. I had both sandwiches almost fully finished before Jay'd even eaten all his fries. I was that damn hungry lol. Halfway through my second sandwich, Jay tells me that whenever he was on morphine and he tried to eat he always got sick. I was so hungry it took about half a second for me to think about it, shrug, and tell him it was worth it before going back to eating haha.


I'm doing better right now, but the pain is coming back again little by little. I haven't had a Vicodin in about 6 hours, I do not want to rely on it, that would be bad. But at the rate the pain is returning I will probably take one before bed so that I can actually sleep.


Jay didn't leave my side once last night. He was so worried about me, and he was very comforting he did a wonderful job to make me feel better, and help me forget about being in the ER, etc. He's so wonderful, he really took great care of me yesterday. He'd yell at me for even moving my fingers let alone my entire arm. I love him so much. He's been taking good care of me today too, making sure I'm okay and eating well, and what not. I'm very lucky to have him. And I appreciate him so much, and I'm so glad that I have him. <3


Anyway I am off for now. I'll keep you all updated on how I'm doing!


<3